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Melissa says [Leland] is in love with me. “Watch him,” she said. “He can’t take his eyes off you. He watches you constantly. He talked about it for days when you turned down his marriage proposal. He hates it when you talk to other guys.”

“Hogwash,” I said, and I don’t say that often. Then I realized she had a point. Whether it’s love, blamm-o, the real thing, or not – well, he’s feeling something. And me?

I feel married.

He blew it! He had his chance! I was mad about him when we were sleeping together. That S.O.B. is now paying for his mistake. But I wish sometimes that he and I could get together and be with each other. It has nothing to do with [Sebastian], it’s just nice to have someone in love with me, someone who is fascinated by my stupid stories and someone who doesn’t notice my flab, someone who would not criticize or embarrass me in public. Oh how nice it would be, but it is not in the cards. I could never leave [Sebastian] and I never will, especially not for someone who hurt [me.]

“I know, he’s totally in love with you,” reported Hope.