Hung out with Spyro last night before Ted came over.  I was on herbal speed.  My new thing is I'm sick of my body and I hate it, etc., so why I don't have my gym bag with me?

Just thinking walking down 8th Avenue how much longer time takes when you're a kid, and how as a kid I couldn't wait to get to enjoy everything adults did, including the prerogative to act any way they wanted.

I just want to close my eyes this morning. It's all been too hard these past few days/weeks and I've made it harder by freaking out and always having to be so emotionally intense.

Well, look what happened. Instead of writing morning pages, I had morning drama. Ted was being distant, I felt sure he was seeing his ex Wednesday night and since then he's not sure about him and me.

I was busy today doing the text for the website, but happy to be busy. Not crazy busy either, just had something to do that took me all day and was creative but not entirely my generation.

"I believe in the moon," she told me.

"Of course you believe in the moon," I told her. "The moon is real, it exists." It annoyed me so much.

"I believe in the goddess," she told me, and I said, "Yeah, I'm right here."

Twenty-six years old, and I no longer suck my thumb. Amazing. Unbelievable. And I haven’t hit myself since June, since I finally dumped Jack, no take-backs.

Whose handwriting is this? I rarely recognize it as mine. I think it looks very masculine, because it doesn’t care if you can read it later.

Judith is going to be away for the entire month of August through Labor Day, and I don’t know how I’m going to deal with it, but I’m going to try to make a bunch of other appointments so I don’t lose momentum.

Had the first appointment with the new shrink, Judith. Not sure how I feel about her. She seems kind of harsh, I don’t know.